Opining on matters outside my usual bailiwick isn’t typically my style but for today, I’ve decided to go off-topic. As a lifestyle blogger, it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to not speak about the outside influences that can/are/will affect my lifestyle.
My having not previously shared my views on many of the issues currently dominating the news shouldn’t be misconstrued as me not having strong opinions. Because as a woman of a certain maturity, I come from the generation molded by the modern Women’s Rights movement that has strived to ensure that “equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any state on account of sex.” It’s not only my lifestyle that I believe to be in jeopardy. I worry about what the future might hold for my children as well as their cousins and their friends of all genders.
Sometime after hearing the reporting on the leaked SCOTUS draft opinion, an odd memory popped into my consciousness. It was of a long-ago conversation with my mother and one of her aunts in which I’d expressed my eagerness to start menstruating. It was in the early 1970s, I was probably about 12 years old and although other things had started to develop, I hadn’t yet gotten my first period (that didn’t happen until about 3 months past my 13th birthday). My great-aunt was quick to ask in a tone of disapproval “why do you want that? They’re messy and bothersome. It’s a curse.” When I looked to my mother for her reaction to that statement, she simply shrugged.
A curse? That was an eye-opener. As that pre-teen child of 12, my understanding of the world was limited and I didn’t fully appreciate what my great-aunt likely really meant. Nor did I ask much about it at the time. Beyond dealing with cramps, cumbersome sanitary pads, surprise appearances, etc., the Supreme Court had not yet ruled on Roe v. Wade so my great-aunt was likely speaking as much from her own life’s experiences as she was from her monthly inconveniences.
Many years later, I came to know that this feisty, independent woman had sought to have a life different than that of her older sisters. She had wanted to be a dancer. She married a handsome and charming man that her father didn’t approve of. When she became pregnant, her husband convinced her to get an abortion that she didn’t really want. It was painful, she told me, and of course dangerous because it had been illegal. Her handsome, charming husband was an abusive man and by the time she decided to leave him, she realized that she was again pregnant. This time by her choice, she opted to abort the pregnancy. Still painful and dangerous but being a divorced single mother in the late 1940s was not the life she wanted for herself. After her divorce, my great-aunt moved to California to join two of her sisters who were already made their own moves from the East Coast to Los Angeles.
How and by what means was she able to get those abortions? I never thought to ask so I don’t know. By the time she shared her story with me, Roe v. Wade had long been decided and California (my home state) had been one of the most progressive states in the country when it came to abortion rights even before that court case. Whether or not I would have the freedom of choice if faced with needing to make such a decision was never in question for me. Knowing what reproductive limitations had been like for so many women before 1973, I was thankful to be living in a time when such restrictions no longer existed.
While foreshadowed, last month’s decision by the SCOTUS majority to overturn the established constitutional right to abortion afforded in Roe v. Wade was alarming. Notwithstanding other groups’ rights that could be at risk in the future, the implications of not having bodily autonomy are not just about the outlawing of abortions. Any medical procedure or treatment that has the potential to end a pregnancy, whether or not a pregnancy exists, may no longer be allowed. Further, arguments could be/are being made that women of childbearing age shouldn’t be prescribed medications that have a risk for birth defects. Why stop there? Shouldn’t some employment opportunities be limited because of exposure risks or other dangers to an actual or potential fetus? What other legal liabilities would a pregnant person face if their pregnancy ends through no fault of their own? Is the penalty their own death?
From my great-aunt’s perspective in the mid-20th century, there were significant limits to her access to education, financial independence, and career opportunities. For what reason? The curse of womanhood that made it possible for her to bear children and yet caused her to suffer the pain and heartache of ending a pregnancy that her husband didn’t want nor would her family support. I realize that my great-aunt’s story doesn’t make for a compelling reason for legalized abortion but that’s the point. It doesn’t need to. Reproductive rights, like voting rights, are a matter of personal choice and a “right to privacy”.
Despite my great-aunt’s opinion, I never saw my periods as a curse even though I’m relieved that I no longer get them. And even though I’ve certainly faced many of the challenges that women in the workplace and to ensure their personal safety, I’ve been blessed with having born children. On my terms, free of any fear that I wouldn’t be able to make medical decisions that would be best for myself and my family. Work must continue to re-establish these reproductive rights across the country for current and future generations.
Let’s Wrap This Up
Now, onto the Fine-Whatever link-up. My featured blogger from the last link-up is Mireille, the stylish mom of four you’ll find sharing her family’s adventures as well as style inspirations on her blog Chez Mireille.
Veering off-topic into the issues of choice and bodily autonomy may not sit well with some of my readers. I respect that you may have a different opinion, but I make no apology. I only look to satisfy an audience of one with the topics I write about and that audience is me. Do I have your support in that effort?
Stay well and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe, tweet, follow, friend, pin … all options are available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.
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Note: This is an unsponsored post; however, some or all of the links to clothing items are associated with an affiliate program where I earned a few cents for each click.
Photos: MMPerez
16 Comments
Thank you so much for speaking out. I have unfollowed several bloggers because they have decided to stay neutral or not comment on several important topics facing our nation these days. As a woman and a human being I don’t think we should be quiet about these matters. Speak your mind..you are an influencer…maybe you can wake up some of these people who don’t realize what is going on.
Hello, I was so glad to read this. I happen to live in a state that is on the wrong side of this issue (Missouri) and feel that women have just been devalued and it’s all about power. The horrible day that this all went down, I made a contribution to the Center of Reproductive Rights. I could say a lot more, but am going to end it there.
One of the things that i have appreciated though I’m not in agreement with the ruling of the Supreme Court is the authentic conversations and thoughts that are being shared. I appreciate thoughtful reflection to complex issues. Stories like your aunt’s provide cause for pause. What I don’t appreciate are those who are so entrenched in their views that they cannot see another perspective.
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this and I am not in agreement with what the Supreme Court ruled. Your aunt’s story is so amazing. I think that we are going backwards instead of forward. You have my support.
Thanks for hosting and I hope that you have a wonderful week.
Thank you for sharing your aunt’s story. Our country is in a downward spiral and going backwards in time. I’m fearful for what lies ahead.
Jill – Doused in Pink
While I didn’t write a blog post when the ruling came down, I did take to Instagram (it seems to have more oomph for lack of a better word). I agree with everything you’ve said here, Rena. It is appalling to realize women only received the “right” to get a credit card in their own names in 1974! My dad died in 1974; my mom had no credit cards for years because “she” had no credit. I don’t believe this country’s regression will stop with Roe. I believe, as you do, this is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to reproductive health. And, while I am glad I am long past that, I do have a daughter, daughter-in-law, and two granddaughters who will now have to deal with the repercussions of this. I live in Indiana where, I’m sure, legislation will soon be written and passed limiting abortion rights. And, yes, I support you in, not only what you have said today, but in what you choose to say on your blog on any day.
https://marshainthemiddle.com/
I love that skirt on you 🙂
On a more serious note though it’s been crazy seeing the stuff coming out from the US lately. I am glad we don’t have to worry about things like that in Australia.
Thanks for the link up! Hope you are having a good start to your week 🙂
Thanks for sharing your aunt’s experiences. I feel we are in a dystopian nightmare, where I and my fellow sisters have lost our personhood and are viewed merely as service animals. And I heard a piece on NPR today that in vitro fertilization procedures may be affected by the return to these barbaric laws. What if a fertilized egg is abnormal? Can it still be discarded? Is it okay to freeze the extra embryos? Etc. My heart is broken.
Michelle
https://mybijoulifeonline.com
P.S. Your blue and white outfit is so pretty and fresh! I love that swirly skirt.
I like it a lot when bloggers speak their mind. Here, in the Netherlands, abortion is legal for decades. I remember my girlfriend had one when she was 15, I went with her for support. I think it’s unbelievable what is happening in the US. As if women’s rights, where they fought for so long and so hard, have been swept away in a heartbeat.
I was dismayed to hear how the laws are changing so sweepingly in the US, it’s like going back 50 years.
Pamela
http://www.style-yourself-confident.com
Rena, you have stated this brilliantly and like everyone else in the comments, I support you both in your right to speak your mind about whatever moves you on your blog and also on this specific issue. It really is frightening. Thanks for sharing your thoughts unapologetically! Your outfit is amazing as well, my friend.
Shelbee
I don’t agree with your view on th etopic of abortion … but it is just your view, as you say. My views are very different … and that should be okay, too: and doesn’t appear to be by far too many who say they are ‘tolerant’ of opposite views. America has become a very different place since 2009. But I continue to riase my voice to be heard above the constant and continual political trauma-drama’s based soley on opinion and not facts. People usd to be able to disagree and still remain friends – that pretty much ended with the ushering in of obama’s “new vision” – and that’s sad. But it doesn;t change how I think, speak, behave, or choose Friends. I believe people can have opposing views and still cement a solid frienship: at least that has been my experience, and I hope at some point the rest of society will catch up and stop the political gaming. ALL LIVES MATTER. Have a funtastic weekend.
I was so shocked to hear the news…it’s like the US is going backwards, not forwards. No wonder, more and more people are wanting to leave. It breaks my heart, it really does. And I applaud you for speaking out about it. You will always have my support, Rena.
Big hugs
Suzy xx
I’m glad to see/hear so many people speaking out, against this ruling. It’s horrific and I worry for the future!
I was feeling the same way when I heard the verdict; like I explained to my boys and husband.. this won’t stop abortions it will just make them more dangerous for women who decide they have no other choice. I’m amazed that we took such a huge step back in time and I truly believe this is all about power and not really about concern for the unborn. On the bright side your skirt is fabulous!