We all have our own fashion phobias, as I like to call them. You know, those quirky style rules we tend to follow for one reason or another. And whether they’re based on personal experience or long-held folklore, sometimes it’s good to go against the grain.

It was a couple of weeks ago that I added a post to Instagram with the caption “Some say that life is better in flip flops but I only wear them when I’m near a body of water or on pedicure day.” So this topic was already on my mind when I came across a post on Graceful Rags the next day that Grace had called “Unpopular Fashion Opinions”. In it, she describes an Instagram trend where people will post a type-in response box for their followers to share any unpopular opinions that they may have. With that inspiration, Grace decided to offer up a list of a dozen or so of her own opinions as they relate to current trends and styles. You know, despite our age difference, she and I have similar style sensibilities. I agreed with all of her opinions except the one about sweater vests.

But it seems that Grace and I aren’t the only ones who’ve been musing on style rules and opinions on what or what not to wear recently. Earlier this week, Patti over at Not Dead Yet Style was offering up her own list of rules that she’s happily ignoring. Even Lucy over at Confessions of a Montreal Styling Diva has been taking on the subject of fashion and trends relating to aging (spoiler alert, we don’t need anyone telling us what and how to wear anything).

One of the most heard of style rules that you’ll hear people talk about breaking ALL-THE-TIME is “don’t wear white after Labor Day”. Some of the other more common rules most of us love to challenge include;

Don’t mix blue and black (same for brown and black)
Stick with neutrals for work attire
Never mix patterns
Denim-on-denim is a no-no
Polish on fingers and toes must match
Shoes and purse should be the same color
Don’t wear open-toed shoes/sandals with socks/tights

While thinking on this topic, a memory popped into my thoughts from about just about two years ago. The Husband and I had been invited to attend the wedding of the daughter of a friend that The Husband has known since junior high school. The wedding occurred over the same weekend we were making our full move into the place we live now. With the remodeling of our then-new place still underway and escrow closing on our old place, I hadn’t given a lot of thought as to what I would wear to the wedding.

Although I’d briefly considered the occasion a decent reason to buy something new, I didn’t have the time to do that. It was a bit of a last-minute scramble but I came up with an option that I felt hit all the right notes except for possibly one. It needed to be dressy enough for a late afternoon into evening affair but suitable for an outdoor venue. The temps in mid-May would likely be a little on the chilly side so options for layering were a must as well.

What I settled on was a kimono topper worn over a fit-flare jersey dress with a handkerchief hem that I paired with wedge heel sandals. We’d been advised that most of the festivities would be on grass and it was suggested that footwear be planned accordingly. I also wore a black tank underneath the dress and brought along a lightweight black cardigan which would not be seen underneath the kimono (and I did put it once the sun went down). With the exception of the actual shoes I wore, this is what the outfit looked like.

How does this relate to style rules, you ask? So that one hesitation I had about this look was that it was predominately black. My concern was that maybe it was too somber for a joyous occasion even though there was a mix of patterns (breaking another rule there) and of course my demeanor would be upbeat as well. Rattling around in my head was the belief from past generations that it was taboo for guests to wear black to a wedding. How silly of me to have forgotten that my own bridesmaids wore black and white dresses at my wedding!

So all this rule-breaking had got me thinking about my own fashion phobias and style rules. The ones that I apply to myself; I think you should do you however you see fit to do so. But for me, there are a few rules that shape how I dress. Besides the one regarding flipflops, and in no particular order, they are;

      • No solid flesh-colored (that would be beige, pink, light peach for me) dresses, pants, or tops – I believe that they tend to highlight every bulge/bump and at a quick glance, the wearer of such items might appear to be naked (that’s my phobia talking there).
      • No pocket/seam show through in white pants or jeans – if the pockets/seams show through the fabric, then so does one’s underwear.
      • Check out the rearview for VPLs and/or any unfortunate placement of attention-attracting patterns – we have mirrors for a reason.
      • Keep the bra covered – visible industrial-sized straps aren’t sexy

And lastly,

      • Ignore any fashion advice about dressing your age (insert raspberry blowing emoji here)

Let’s Wrap This Up

Now, onto the Fine-Whatever link-up. My featured blogger from last week is Celyn, a stylish gal from the Philippines who mainly writes about the shoes she likes and loves (and sometimes can’t afford!) on her blog Life’s A Shoe.

Style rules aside, I try to make it a point to dress in a way that showcases my personality and my tastes which, of course, have changed over time. It’s wonderful to allow myself the freedom to do so despite my personal fashion phobias. I’d love to hear about yours. Better yet, what outdated style rules are you happily breaking these days?

Stay well and let’s keep in touch! Subscribe, tweet, follow, friend, pin … all options are available. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

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31 Comments

  1. isthismutton

    Your rules make perfect sense. The other rules- no white after Labor Day, no pattern mixing etc, all seem very old and made for breaking! Have a good weekend

    • Rena

      Gail, I’m glad that you concur with my quirky style rules. I’ve since thought of a few more that I may share in another post.

  2. I love the shoes and I absolutely ADORE your hair!! You’re beautiful dear <3!

    Thank you for hosting a link like potpourri <3 I appreciate the opportunity to share my open marriage journey. My written content is explicit, but there are no explicit images or videos on my blog. My linked post is the Capricorn Experience.

    Have a fabulous weekend!!

    • Rena

      Renee, you’re too kind. Thank you for the wonderful compliments. And I think there’s room for all opinions and life stories to be shared in a judgement free environment.

  3. You look awesome in these asymmetric hems. The dress goes well with the kimono. It’s a great unexpected look. Love it. Thanks for hosting the linkup.

    • Rena

      Nicole, thank you. I’m glad that you like the outfit and I really like the compliment of it being an unexpected look.

  4. I was brought up by a very conventional mother who always told me to wear blue (I had red hair), never wear pants (not ladylike) and never eat in the street (too awful) so of course as soon as I could I broke all those rules, and now I think as we age we should dress as we please – says someone in her mid-70s!

    Love your wedding outfit especially the asymmetric hem and thanks for hosting.

    • Rena

      Penny, my mother was also quite stylistically conventional and we often butted heads even after I became an adult. Thank you for reading and commenting.

  5. I absolutely love this post, Rena! I used to have a few style ‘rules’ that I would never break, like don’t wear black with navy for example. Now that I’m that bit older and much more comfortable in my own skin, I don’t adhere to any rules. I love to go against the grain and just wear what makes me happy. I’ve never quite understood that whole, ‘Don’t wear white after labor day’ thing. I always thought it was so odd!
    I do, however, have certain rules for buying underwear though – no front seams is a big no-no for me lol!!
    I think your wedding outfit is fabulous!
    Hugs
    Suzy xx

    • Rena

      Suzy, I’m so glad that you liked this post and my outfit. Rules on underwear can be dealbreakers, as far as I’m concerend.

  6. I thought and thought last week when you put out that email about our fashion phobias. I always appreciate rules because they give us a starting point. But in art and design rules can be broken (OK, maybe not in perspective drawing). I think my only rule at this point is to wear things that make my body look its best. And I can’t say I follow that rule all the time, especially if there is something that I really want to make. But there is one, and I think this is from being a teacher forever, I don’t like cleavage showing. That is one that I pretty much stick to. As usual, I enjoyed this Saturday musing of yours-just didn’t get around to it until Sunday! Take care, Terri

    • Rena

      Terri, not showing cleavage is a smart way to go. Showing that you have a curvy figure is one thing but actually showing the skin is another, IMHO. I fear that I’m becoming my mother when I start to think that way, though LOL.

  7. Amy Johnson

    I agree with all your fashion rules. Cute outfit. Love the kimono.

  8. I love your fashion rules. When it comes to those most common style rules, then I kind of ignore most of them 😀

  9. mireilleftm

    I am with you with flesh colored pieces: I have had to take a double take every once and a while! I would have to think about which rules or phobia I have more myself but I think the biggest one for me is not to wear something that makes me look pregnant!
    http://www.chezmireillefashiontravelmom.com

    • Rena

      Mireille, I bought a pair of light mauve capris once (without trying them on at the store) and did a double-take as I first looked at myself in the mirror. I even called my daughter to ask her what her first thought was in seeing me and she agreed that it nearly looked like I was naked from the waist down.

  10. Wonderful topic, Rena! First off your outfit for the wedding is lovely! The pattern mixing is fabulous, and I love the flowy vibe. I’ve never been one to pay much attention to fashion rules. I wear white whenever I darn well please. It’s fun to mix patterns. And honestly, I pretty much despise neutrals, although I do have one neutral outfit. My number one rule is that clothes must be comfortable; I’m long past suffering in uncomfortable clothing in order to achieve a certain look.

    Michelle
    https://mybijoulifeonline.com

    • Rena

      Michelle, thank you for outfit love and for agreeing that most of the traditional style rules are silly.

  11. That’s a fabulous outfit, Rena, and totally appropriate for any wedding, i think. It’s funny how ingrained these “rules” get in our heads, isn’t it? I got brainwashed young by “Color Me Beautiful” and “couldn’t” wear any colour that wasn’t a Spring (and forget silver jewelry forever!). Luckily, I figured out pretty early that I should just wear whatever I want.

    General “rules” that are just me:
    – leggings aren’t pants. They’re great instead of tights (and you’re wearing boots), fine for wearing around at home or for working out, but they have no place in “real outfits”.
    – anything “babydoll” or empire waist (gathers under the bustline) – it looks like I’m pregnant. No thank you!
    – agreed on the ‘naked’ clothing. I have one camisole that I wear because it does disappear into my skin, but sometimes I don’t want a big bar of colour across my cleavage.

    Thanks so much for the link party!

    • Rena

      Sheila, I totally agree with you regarding leggings as pants and I also struggle with empire waists but I have found a few over the years that I think worked out. Thanks for sharing a few of your “rules” … I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one with them.

  12. I love the print mix of the kimono and dress together! I remember buying a navy and black dress for the office once and realising that if this dress looked good, maybe the “don’t wear blue and black” rule was a silly one! I’m go grateful for that dress as it made me rethink all the old rules! like how petite people shouldn’t wear maxis – I love my maxi skirts and dresses now, they are so me! 🙂 I can’t believe I went years without wearing them!

    Thanks so much for joining the #WeekdayWearLinkup! Hope you are having a great weekend!

    • Rena

      Mica, I discovered my fondness for blue and black as well as brown and black because those color combinations had been in tweeds I’d bought. I’m glad to hear that you also don’t pay any attention to rules.

  13. shelbeeontheedge1

    Somehow I missed this post! I love this outfit and I will often layer a lightweight cardigan under kimonos for some extra warmth. As for rules, you know I don’t follow them! But I am with you on the nude dress thing. I have definitely turned my head to look when I have seen women in skin tight nude dresses! It really does make them look, well, nude! And that is a rather intimidating thing for me as well. But I do applaud those women who can wear a skin tight nude dress with confidence!

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    • Rena

      Shelbee, I don’t get the appeal of skin-tight nude dresses and tops, even for KK. Even worse are leggings (worn as pants) or lightweight jeans.

  14. Hi Rena
    Agree with your fashion rules! Yes to wearing what we want and feel confident in. That is the name of the game! Love the outfit with the mix of patterns and the cool wedge shoes.
    I also dont wear flip flops unless I am near a body of water! 🙂
    thanks for linking!
    jess xx
    http://www.elegantlydressedandstylish.com

    • Rena

      Jess, I’m thinking of sharing a few more of my “rules” in a future post 😉.